You Are Not Alone
"Even in women's magazines, variation in women's sexual response was often described as if it were predicated mostly upon emotions, or access to 'the right' fantasies or role playing, or upon one's upbringing, or upon one's 'guilt,' or 'liberation,' or upon a lover's skill. I had never read that the way you best reach orgasm, as a woman, was largely due to basic neural wiring. This was a much less mysterious and value laden message about female sexuality: it presented the obvious suggestion that anyone could learn about her own, or his or her partner's, particular neural variant as such, and simply master the patterns of the special way it worked." --Naomi Wolf, 'Vagina'
If you feel sexually confused or dissatisfied, you may think that it's your own fault or failure, you may wonder, 'Is there something wrong with me?' You may feel ashamed or guilty about this area of your life.
Please, give yourself a break and know that you are not alone!
Sexuality is still shrouded in collective shame, guilt and misunderstanding, which prevents us to invite sexuality into our life through the eye of compassion, love, or in connection with our emotions and spirituality.
Sexuality is a vast land for which, most likely, you were never given a proper roadmap.
Sexuality is a complex human capacity, with tender issues at stake: 'Am I lovable?' 'Am I beautiful enough?' 'Can I satisfy her?' 'Will he still like me?' and so forth.
Sexuality is directly related to our self esteem, our human need to love and be loved, our wish to be accepted, connected, belong, be worthy of love and whatever else we hope from our self and/or a partner.
Sexuality makes us by definition feel naked, vulnerable, exposed. It requires a lot of safety and trust to truly meet another person so deeply, and to reclaim our sexual power.
The good news is that, as a collective, we are bringing sexuality out of the basement and are allowed to make this important part of our lives more whole.